The Anti-Valentine

Second month and fourteenth day
Has reared it's dubious head,
A special day for lovers
And one that singles dread.
But this time I will not succumb
Nor walk the party line,
I'm chocolate's biggest nightmare --
The anti-Valentine.

This year I'll make me breakfast
And savor it in bed;
Have whipped cream with my coffee
And toasted raisin bread.
Instead of buying roses
I'll pick a leaf or vine,
I'm chocolate's biggest nightmare --
The anti-Valentine

I'll make myself a heart shaped card
And write a sappy poem
Of "how I'm loved and in my arms
A heart has found it's home".
I'll dance a slow dance all alone
While I sip sparkling wine,
I'm chocolate's biggest nightmare --
The anti-Valentine

I'll buy myself a negligee
And wear it for my mirror,
And thank God I don't have to care
How I look from the rear.
I'll wear those fishnets and a thong
For no one's eyes but mine,
I'm chocolate's biggest nightmare --
The anti-Valentine

If you think me pathetic
I can't say that I care,
I'd rather smile and celebrate
Than sink into despair.
As for someone to hold tonight,
My pillows do just fine.
I'm chocolate's biggest nightmare --
The anti-Valentine